Surrender, The Salty, Sour and Sweet.

       I had so many different emotions ending month 7 in India and coming back to Nepal after my first time in the beautiful country 3 years ago! 

Some of the emotions that I was feeling:

~Excited

~Unsure

~Nervous

~Expectant

       When we arrived here to our ministry site which is near the city of Kathmandu in Nepal- I was feeling all of the above emotions and then some. I also was not feeling all that great physically and I was very tired. My team and I settled in as much as we could and were able to rest for the day until dinner- which gave us a few hours to do whatever we chose to do. I chose to organize my belongings  a bit because I had just thrown a lot of stuff in my airporter when I packed to leave debrief.  After organizing my belongings I relaxed and wrote in my journal.

After dinner that night we had a meeting with our ministry host and we were all excited to learn that we would have a schedule of what we were doing for the week! Our ministry host is very nice and so on fire for God, and to have a schedule was a blessing for all of us- as in previous months many of us usually didn’t know what we were doing half of the time.

       With all of that said- unfortunately the first week here in Nepal hit me hard, like a ton of bricks and let me explain to you why: Monday, I was fine- went to ministry with my team like normal- we went to a hindu temple and interceded on behalf of the people there to worship different Gods. It was an experience for sure and I felt a huge sense of the people being lost there. When the evening rolled around I began to not feel well- and side note: I ate a buffalo burger (less then half ion it mind you) and got very sick from it and that was the night before we came to our ministry site. So back to Monday evening: I was not feeling well at all and my stomach was not happy with me- I tried to eat the meals prepared for us anyway but they didn’t really stay in my stomache. Tuesday morning came and I felt worse than I did the night before- during the night I unfortunately threw up and lost everything I had eaten, it was horrible and I was not in any shape to go to ministry with my team. Wednesday I felt better and well enough to join everyone in ministry at a women’s rehab home and I was so very glad that I was able to go! The women there had been in really bad situations and had been rescued from those situations and now were being cared for, loved, empowered, educated and trained in many different skills! I was able to share some things and encourage them to share their stories so that thru their stories others can find healing and restoration of the things they have been thru! Thursday showed up and I felt sick again and had to stay back from ministry- didn’t want to but I did. Friday I was ok and joined the teams, praise God! 

       Here comes the Salty, Sour and Sweet part of me Surrendering. You see, I absolutely did not want to stay home and stay back and miss ministry! If you know me, you know that I am the type pf person that loves to go, go. Go and I am not really they type of person that likes to sit and do nothing. I enjoy rest and relaxation but I do not like to miss out on anything. God didn’t call me to come on the world race to sit and do nothing- so me staying back from participating min ministry with my team was VERY HARD. To be completely honest with you the only reason I did stay home those 2 days is because after prayer and lots of conversations with God- HE TOLD ME TO. I had to surrender not only what I wanted, but I also had to surrender what my body needed- and my body didn’t need to be ran dry till my last ounce of energy was gone but my body needed to rest, I had to surrender to that. I also needed to Surrender my thoughts, my spirit and my emotions over to God and let him do what he needed to do with them. 

       During the time that I was sick and during the 2 days that I stayed home and didn’t participate in ministry with my team- I had a lot of time to sit in quiet, sleep, rest, talk to God, journal and do a whole lot of thinking! It was not easy for me to sit back and not go and do what God had called me on this journey to do BUT something he reminded me of during this time was that resting in him is something that he wants me to do more of. Also during this time of sickness and rest- God has really been speaking to me about my life and how its ok for me to not be doing something all of the time- that even in the times where I am not doing something- I am making an impact for the kingdom but just  simply BEING. & last but certainly not least, God has been reminding me that even when I don’t feel him near me or see him making moves in my life- when I don’t see things happening or the things I am pursuing coming to pass- that he is actively doing things in my life, that he is on my side and he is continuously writing my story. 

This was just the beginning of my story of SURRENDER, The Salty, Sour and Sweet!

Keep and eye out for MORE soon! God is moving!